Baggage...

As a single mom/woman searching, longing, hoping for love... You don't stop to even realize the backlash or baggage that comes along with being a second wife and for me, my husband brings so many more positives to my life that I'm willing to deal with the baggage.

BUT there is TONS of baggage. I went in naive. Thinking that the I would be friends with the ex wife and we would all work together and be great examples to the kids. What I got was the complete opposite! I'm no longer that innocent, naive young girl I once was. Life and reality has hit me hard!! Right where it hurts... My tender heart. I'm not cut out to be mean or have someone be mean to me. It hurts me to my core.

As a second wife you will NEVER get to see or enjoy your husband's full salary. You will live very tight for most of your young adult life.

As a second wife you can't really leave the state for longer them 4 days due to the parenting plan and our crazy schedule with the kids.

As a second wife you have to watch all your money go to her but then still provide groceries and meals half the month.

As a second wife you have to deal with the constant calls, texts (Sometimes inappropriate) and fighting from the ex wife all hours of the day and night.

First wives feel entitled. They feel they are better then you. They feel like they should forever be placed before you. They feel that since they have your husbands children they have more of a place then you do. (I'm reminded this every chance she gets) This will probably never change or maybe once I have years under my belt or hopefully when she gets remarried. (I'm praying for this everyday!!!) 

First wives need to get over themselves and realize that we do have a place. I am HIS WIFE NOW. I'm important and what I say matters. I'm here everyday helping to raise your kids! I have a place.

Challenges appear daily in kids activities.. The anxiety of getting there first so we can get a seat and watch her walk in or the anxiety of showing up second only to freak out about where she is and worrying about her watching me walk in. The stomach ache I get every time we drive to her house to pick up the kids. Why do I go? Oh because she has been known to come out and try and have long talks with my husband or throw herself at him. INAPPROPRIATE!!!

Simple things like trying to figure out kids schedules is difficult when you deal with someone who only wants to live in the past and hash out their relationship/divorce each time they talk. It's been 4 years now and we have been married 2 and half years and we STILL deal with this.

WHEN WILL IT END????

I ask myself this everyday. 

But it's in my face daily, I can't escape it. My husband has to work around the clock to provide for 2 households.  I have to drive to her house every other day. Constant reminder that I am a second wife.

It's such a shame that for 2 people who have finally found a true friendship and great, loving relationship the second time around has to deal with all this. Our happily ever after won't be for a LOOOOOOOOOng time. I don't understand anyone wanting to be this impossible to work with, when I have been nothing but kind and bent over backwards to make this whole thing work. 

All I can do is keep moving forward with hope and pray that one day this will all be over and she will see the light and things will get better.

A girl can dream...

#Secondwifestrong #exwivessuck 

Impossible

"Progress is impossible without CHANGE,

and those who cannot change their minds...CANNOT change ANYTHING."

Dealing with an impossible person is.... impossible.

Over the past two and half years I have been here in Georgia.. nothing has changed. I have basically begged, groveled, pleaded, cried, talked, yelled, tried and tried again

AND yet NOTHING has CHANGED. 

You see when you are dealing with someone who doesn't want to change, you will get no where. It is one of the hardest, most frustrating thing I have ever dealt with. 

Instead of compromise, respect, honesty and doing things with the best interest of the kids....

We get manipulated, lied to, walked all over, taken advantage of, disrespected and using kids as pawns in her sick games.

I kept thinking this will all blow over and get better and kept having faith and hope that she would give me chance and see me for who I am but no she chooses to HATE me for her own made up stories in her head and the one simple fact that she is still in love with my husband. (how I found this out is another story)

I am NOT the enemy! I'm on the same team, helping raise the same kids! Why would you go out of your way to make my life miserable?

Examples: Last year our 2 boys Cameron and Xavier played football. I signed them up, paid for it and drove 20 minutes out of my way 6 days a week to pick Cameron up from his house and take them to 2 different fields at different times and then back and forth watching them and them back to Cameron's house and then back to mine and washed both their gear every night. One night I couldn't take Cameron and texted HER (aka. The ex wife) and simply asked if she could take Cameron to practice. The response I got was shocking to me. She said she could not believe the audacity I had to ask her to take her own son to practice, that she was busy and it was putting her out. I was Shocked. I had never asked her for help before and I personally thought she would help cart the kids around. I was doing all the driving and washing of gear 6 days a week! She said she would do it this once because now she looks like a bitch ( her own words) but I would need to pick him up and drop him back off at her house. I did it. 

You see in her head she thought that since I signed him up, I should have all the responsibility. In my head I thought I was doing her a favor by signing him up and paying for it and doing most the work. I just assumed she would be grateful and offer to help out from time to time. I was dead wrong! Cut to this year. Cameron is now playing for the high school team this next school year. He loves to play. He has practices everyday. Guess who had Cameron ask Jason to pick him up everyday this week, knowing full well we won't say no to him. Manipulator! She didn't help out not one bit last year but now wants the help. I'm all for helping out but I want it to go both ways. She manipulates every situation to get her own way all the time and I'm fed up! She gets rewarded for bad behavior over and over again because we have to do the right thing for the kids.

You can't have a simple conversation with her either... NO, she has to yell, cuss and spit such hateful things it makes your head spin. So as of now we have no communication with her but how is that adult or how do we get anything resolved or pass back info on kids? 

I'm at a loss and finally coming to terms to with the fact that there are people out there so spiteful and mean that even killing them with kindness doesn't work..

How sad.. What a miserable life to have that much hate in your heart. 

#secondwifestrong #exwivessuck

#rantover